Oh No They Didn't: The Comedy's in the Comments

file this under "random" and "what the fuck"

2009-07-27T19:57:00.000-07:00

Original post shows RPattz walking behind a guy with a slight case of moobs (man-boobs).

EWWW
im_fatt
2009-06-18 08:39 am UTC (link)

omg wat an unfortunate body type

reminds me of when i met this italian guy with a really fine face, but then i hugged him and felt his breasts press up against mine like a cold window pane pressing up against a lonely virgin's stiff nipples. i stand there motionless as he caresses my hot ass, and stick two of his fingers into my cave of fertility. he says to me, "take these two fingers in your pussy, you little slut."

frightened, i try to let out a cry for help. before i could do so, his heavy throbbing hand clasps my mouth, and i am silence. he moves me to the ground and makes love to me. i could feel the weight of his testicles pounding against my asshole like some heavy doorknocker. i scream in agony as his fleshy

Re: EWWW
bloodjetpoetry
2009-06-18 08:40 am UTC (link)

WHAT THE FRAKKKKK

Re: EWWW
deyoyo
2009-06-18 08:47 am UTC (link)

LMFAO

Re: EWWW
damage_c0ntr0l
2009-06-18 08:48 am UTC (link)

i lol'd.

hard.

Thanks to Tatiana for sending this in.

quality typo

2009-07-27T19:45:00.000-07:00

Original post is from a couple of weeks ago, and has Chris Brown's issued statement about Michael Jackson, saying Michael was the reason why he "does music."

dayfornights
2009-06-26 04:51 pm UTC (link)

and nice try CB, but your still and enormous cunt

writtenbyhand
2009-06-26 05:10 pm UTC (link)

Lol bb quality typo. I tried figuring that out for a moment, I was like
1) why would he have a cunt;
2) why is it enormous;
3) has it stilled itself in mourning.

dayfornights
2009-06-26 05:18 pm UTC (link)

LOL

xlikewolvesx
2009-06-26 05:53 pm UTC (link)

LOL

I have tears in my eyes from laughing so hard at this, especially #3.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

artemis_archer
2009-06-26 06:16 pm UTC (link)

lmao

citrimax
2009-06-26 06:21 pm UTC (link)

I CANT STOP LAUGHING

Thanks to Michelle for the submission.

jajaja

2009-07-13T16:50:00.000-07:00

Original post has a couple of photos of Haley Joel Osment which conclude that he has been up to " a whole lot of nothing" lately.

LJ user x_apo488x comments on the fact that the LJ cut text was messed up, and the following ensues:

x_ap0488x
2009-07-12 11:43 pm UTC (link)

cut fail.

x_ap0488x
2009-07-12 11:43 pm UTC (link)

well the fail didn't cut.

but the text did.

x_ap0488x
2009-07-12 11:43 pm UTC (link)

fuck.

i meant the cut didn't fail.|

stam_bag
2009-07-12 11:44 pm UTC (link)

fission mailed.

vampiric02
2009-07-12 11:48 pm UTC (link)

lol irl

x_ap0488x
2009-07-12 11:52 pm UTC (link)

lol thanks.

iheartgerryb
2009-07-13 12:09 am UTC (link)

I'M FUCKING DYING LMAOOOOOOO

idealistically
2009-07-13 12:21 am UTC (link)

LMAO

Are you bringing evolution into this?

2009-07-08T09:55:00.000-07:00

Original post has some photos of Michael Jackson's memorial service yesterday in L.A., including a photo of some guy singing who is "interesting" looking, to say the least.

kr1stina09x
2009-07-07 10:40 pm UTC (link)

nature
2009-07-07 10:41 pm UTC (link)

it's scary how many people look like dinosaurs. it makes you wonder.

pinknblack06
2009-07-07 10:42 pm UTC (link)

this comment is making me laugh so hard.

vinagrette
2009-07-07 10:46 pm UTC (link)

ROFL WHAT. HAha A+

daydreamrachey
2009-07-07 10:47 pm UTC (link)

LMFAO IRL

joaniemaloney
2009-07-07 11:20 pm UTC (link)

lol, are you bringing evolution into this?

Thanks to Rachel Leigh for sending this in.

2009-07-06T14:03:00.001-07:00

Original post is an entry announcing who will be participating in the Michael Jackson memorial service in L.A. One of the people on the list is Shaheen Jafargholi, a finalist from Britain's Got Talent.

eumorize
2009-07-06 08:12 pm UTC (link)

Shaheen Jafargholi? the hell? that's the sound i make when i puke

of course al sharpton is gonna be there to cast his shadow of annoying condescending crap! it'll start off like, "i loved michael jackson and even babysat blanket" and then turn into a civil rights rant.

mariah carey is cool but i don't really wanna hear her do i'll be there. i think it would be cool if she did migrate or one of her songs about heaven. :)

lillyluna
2009-07-06 08:14 pm UTC (link)

lol forever at your first line.

omg 1st sentence
mikee414
2009-07-06 08:18 pm UTC (link)

I LMAO so loud at work, omg.. my coworkers are like WTF

mel712
2009-07-06 08:53 pm UTC (link)

lollllll to your first line

staring contest

2009-06-26T12:30:00.000-07:00

Not much commentary, just posting it because this whole thread is hilarious, if you missed it.

http://community.livejournal.com/ohnotheydidnt/35879229.html?thread=5080443709#t5080443709

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ONTD!

2009-06-26T10:38:00.000-07:00

It's ONTD's 5th birthday today, and there's a FFA going on over at our beloved community! :')

~Celeb convos celebrating ONTD's turning 5.
thelookofarebel
2009-06-26 05:22 pm UTC (link)

~RING RING RING~

HELLO?

OMG PARIS. WANNA HANG OUT. WATS
UP. HOW R U. WAT R U DOING BB?

UM NOTHING LL. JUST PUTTIN SOME
MAKEUP ON MY CUTE FACE.

OMG SO COOL. DID U KNOW ONTD TURNS
5 TODAY?

PARIS HELLO. R U THERE. WAT R U
DOING?

HELLO PARIS! PARIS WAT R U DOIN?

PARIS R U EXCITED ABOUT ONTD?

NO.

WELL W/E IM ABOUT TO GO POST SOME
COMMENTS. MY USERNAME IS
ms_firecrotch FYI.

OMG I AM slimandsexxy!

~*~CLICK~*

creepypasta

2009-06-26T09:06:00.000-07:00

Original post reports that Belgian singer Yasmine committed suicide yesterday, June 25, the same day that Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson died.

jearsforqueers
2009-06-26 05:31 am UTC (link)

IF I WAKE UP TOMORROW MORNING AND FIND THAT ANOTHER PERSON HAS DIED, I WILL FUCKING GO NUTS! NO MORE PLEASE! THIS IS TOO MUCH.

thelookofarebel
2009-06-26 05:33 am UTC (link)

if u wake up

0_blue_ruin_0
2009-06-26 05:33 am UTC (link)

LOLIRL

turncoatliar
2009-06-26 05:33 am UTC (link)

omgwhy

jearsforqueers
2009-06-26 05:34 am UTC (link)

OMG PLZ DONT SAY THAT.

No seriously, I had four panic attacks in like two months because of death and dying. And this was recent, too.

Death and me do not go so good together.

lostwithme
2009-06-26 05:37 am UTC (link)

LMAO

sugar_sex
2009-06-26 05:38 am UTC (link)

OMG I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING

A+

Thanks to John S. for sending this in!

douchebag Danny Gokey

2009-06-18T08:06:00.000-07:00

Original post contains information and proof of Danny Gokey's family mocking Adam Lambert for being gay.

reveeling
2009-06-18 02:42 am UTC (link)

hello_eunuch
2009-06-18 02:45 am UTC (link)

I just lost respect for those chairs.

tigerfan28
2009-06-18 02:48 am UTC (link)

LOL IRL AT THE PICTURE AND YOUR COMMENT.

obscurative
2009-06-18 02:54 am UTC (link)

LOL IRL

kimchikimi
2009-06-18 05:16 am UTC (link)

LMAOOOOO!

not sure whether this is an insult to middle school lesbians everywhere or Mr. Cera

2009-06-16T13:27:00.001-07:00

Original post has photos from the premiere of "Year One" with Jack Black, Michael Cera, et al.

flinkkamingo3
2009-06-16 07:58 pm UTC (link)

Ever since someone in another post said Michael Cera looks like a middle school lesbian, that's all I've been able to see when I look at him.

askmehowifeel
2009-06-16 07:58 pm UTC (link)

LOL IRL

visceralvamp
2009-06-16 07:59 pm UTC (link)

lol, mte

deerlike
2009-06-16 07:59 pm UTC (link)

rofl, I never thought of him as particularly mesbian.

waterylights
2009-06-16 08:02 pm UTC (link)

he looks like little foot

sergeantquakers
2009-06-16 08:02 pm UTC (link)

LMAO IRL

more loltastic Jordin Sparks

2009-06-16T10:20:00.000-07:00

Original post is a blind item asking, "What teenage B list female singer who always seems so good is having an affair with her married almost 40 road manager?"

jesustolemybike
2009-06-16 12:39 am UTC (link)

jordin sparks

damage_c0ntr0l
2009-06-16 12:41 am UTC (link)

it says female

randomlythnking
2009-06-16 12:43 am UTC (link)

ahahahahahahahahahaha

madmike91
2009-06-16 12:43 am UTC (link)

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

ohhhmandy
2009-06-16 12:45 am UTC (link)

A+

asouthernthing
2009-06-16 12:46 am UTC (link)

lmao forever

Thanks to Helen for sending this one in!

2009-06-11T12:25:00.000-07:00

Another funny comment on ONTD mod Brenden's post.

hey bb,
ginagorexx3
2009-06-11 12:51 am UTC (link)

kim jong-il called, he wants his power trip back.

omfg, thank you yourmomrecycles for that.

Re: hey bb,
luckymojo
2009-06-11 12:52 am UTC (link)

bahahaha first time i've heard that one.
awesome

Re: hey bb,
xobritney
2009-06-11 12:55 am UTC (link)

GURRRLLLLL hahaha

Re: hey bb,
juanitatequila
2009-06-11 01:29 am UTC (link)

LMFAO!!!

A+

Re: hey bb,
elisabet85
2009-06-11 02:22 am UTC (link)

LOL IRL

Thank you to LJ user awesomeful for sending this in.

fun with acronyms!

2009-06-11T12:15:00.000-07:00

Original post is a mod-post by LJ user brenden, clarifying his request for members to please use gifs sparingly when replying to posts.

The comment by anthony and all the replies to him are hilarious!
I couldn't post them all- there are more at the thread.

anthony
2009-06-10 10:22 pm UTC (link)

Brenden is a P.O.S.

danceenosdance
2009-06-10 10:23 pm UTC (link)

piece of sausage?

thelookofarebel
2009-06-10 10:24 pm UTC (link)

passenger on subway?

juiiicybabe
2009-06-10 10:24 pm UTC (link)

Parent over shoulder?

kvetch_kvetch
2009-06-10 10:26 pm UTC (link)

prince of style?

thatsaid
2009-06-10 10:26 pm UTC (link)

Point of sale?

patback409
2009-06-10 10:26 pm UTC (link)

Piece of spaceship?

thelookofarebel
2009-06-10 10:26 pm UTC (link)

pot on stove?

hp_humper
2009-06-10 10:27 pm UTC (link)

prisoner of soup?

april_in_paris
2009-06-10 10:29 pm UTC (link)

prince of sex?

cherrule
2009-06-10 10:29 pm UTC (link)

pound of sugar

yummyhead2toe
2009-06-10 10:29 pm UTC (link)

Princess of Siberia?

thelookofarebel
2009-06-10 10:29 pm UTC (link)

pedophile on sex site?

lumaria
2009-06-10 10:30 pm UTC (link)

Pair of stilletos?

prettyfoot
2009-06-10 10:31 pm UTC (link)

Practitioner of Santeria?

calderone9
2009-06-10 10:39 pm UTC (link)

pickled onion soup?

xobritney
2009-06-10 10:40 pm UTC (link)

the responses to this are fucking amazing. i wish i could contribute.

Thanks to Rachel Leigh for sending this in!

more Jordin Sparks funnies

2009-06-10T14:13:00.000-07:00

Again, original post has a photo of Jordin Sparks' new album cover. LJ user thelookofarebel 's comments are funny as hell.

thelookofarebel
2009-06-10 09:01 pm UTC (link)

LMFAO
amoramoamitto
2009-06-10 09:03 pm UTC (link)

all your comments in this post : A+++++

i_got_servedyo
2009-06-10 09:03 pm UTC (link)

IF SHE HAS A TWITTER CAN SOMEONE LINK HER TO THIS PLEASE

thelookofarebel
2009-06-10 09:04 pm UTC (link)

twitter has a weight capacity that she exceeds

myloveyourlust
2009-06-10 09:07 pm UTC (link)

omg. ahahaha.

prettiwaste
2009-06-10 09:11 pm UTC (link)

LOL IRL just choked on my cracker. would have been a great way to go.

mikochin
2009-06-10 09:14 pm UTC (link)

A+ LOL

surferxchris
2009-06-10 09:14 pm UTC (link)

LOL FOREVER.

Jordin Sparks funnies

2009-06-10T14:00:00.000-07:00

Original post contains a photo of Jordin Sparks' new album cover, titled "Battlefield." The first several comments of the post are bringing big laughs.

croutonochrist
2009-06-10 08:39 pm UTC (link)

Slut.

damage_c0ntr0l
2009-06-10 08:39 pm UTC (link)

virgin

microwatts
2009-06-10 08:39 pm UTC (link)

Fat virgin

mindofthebeheld
2009-06-10 08:41 pm UTC (link)

These first three comments are amazing.

thelookofarebel
2009-06-10 08:40 pm UTC (link)

fat slutty virgin.

mindofthebeheld
2009-06-10 08:41 pm UTC (link)

LOL.

thatsaid
2009-06-10 08:46 pm UTC (link)

lol forever

noahbb
2009-06-10 08:41 pm UTC (link)

thelookofarebel
2009-06-10 08:42 pm UTC (link)

fine. here, bitch, i didnt want it anyway.

patback409
2009-06-10 08:43 pm UTC (link)

AHAHAHAAHAHAA.

erraticxemotion
2009-06-10 08:44 pm UTC (link)

omg lmao

spunkstar
2009-06-10 08:49 pm UTC (link)

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!! ahahahaha

mini laughs

2009-06-02T08:40:00.000-07:00

Original post is from last week when ONTD mysteriously stopped working.

agoodusername
2009-05-28 04:41 pm UTC (link)

I have the explanation! Perez Hilton woke up for the day on west coast time, got on ONTD to steal his stories for the day and gave us the clap. No?

drunkand2stoned
2009-05-28 04:45 pm UTC (link)

a good username a bad theory

idontcaretocare
2009-05-28 04:49 pm UTC (link)

lol

maskedcunt
2009-05-28 05:01 pm UTC (link)

lmao

Thanks to oh me oh my for the submission.

Original post is a video with Chris Pine and Zachary Quinto from Star Trek fame.

thats_so_adam
2009-05-26 08:11 pm UTC (link)

i have it on good authority that these two are dating.

shadyoutkast
2009-05-26 08:17 pm UTC (link)

fo real or for play-play?

thats_so_adam
2009-05-26 08:19 pm UTC (link)

well, the "good authority" i'm referring to is in my pants.

so you decide.

mrs_teacup
2009-05-26 09:06 pm UTC (link)

lol irl

Thanks to Becky O. for this one.

Original post is a video of the Pussycat Dolls performing.

offinlahlahland
2009-05-25 12:23 am UTC (link)

why give micophones to them if they arent even gonna lipsynch. We are stupid you know.

offinlahlahland
2009-05-25 12:24 am UTC (link)

aren't***

i need to prof read before i post anything.

offinlahlahland
2009-05-25 12:24 am UTC (link)

PROOF*

Fuck me.

penny_love_lane
2009-05-25 01:39 am UTC (link)

This little mini thread of yours made me lol so hard.

Thanks to Michelle for sending this in.

Kanye, is that you

2009-06-02T08:16:00.000-07:00

Original post has an article conveying how Pink has lashed out at rapper Kanye West, after the two had a run-in at a fashion show.

"I was at Stella McCartney's Paris fashion show with the vice president of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, PAUL McCARTNEY and Kanye West," said Pink "... The entire time Kanye is going, 'They need more fur in this show'. He just wouldn't shut up about how he loved fur. I mean, he's saying this to me, the PETA guy and Paul McCartney!

"I was just so grossed out by him. I'm like, 'You're an idiot!'," she continued. "There are so many people who I think are a waste of skin and he's up there. I should wear him."

disco_balla
2009-06-01 08:52 pm UTC (link)

CAPPED RESPONSE FROM KANYE IN

3...2.....1

disco_balla
2009-06-01 08:55 pm UTC (link)

OMG, I can see it now:

YO I JUSTWANT TO CLRIFIY THIS WHOLE MESS WITH PINK. I WAS NOT TRYNA BE RUDE TO THE DUDE FROM PETA. I DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT PETA. THEY CANT EVEN SEE MY STYLE. THEY STRAIGHT DISSED ME BY NOT GIVING ME THE BEST NON-VEGETARIAN IN MUSIC AWARD WHEN THE DROPOUT DROPPED. DOPEST ALBUM OF THE DECADE AND THEY SHUT ME OUT!!!!! SO I DONT CARE ABOUT PETA. I GOT MAD LOVE FOR PETA AND ANIMALS BUT FOR REAL THEY JUST DONT RESPECT ME. I EVEN HAD A LION DISRESPECT ME AND I LOVE LIONS!!! PINK CALL ME BECAUSE THIS IS JUST A MISUNDERSTANDING. I AINT EVEN ON TWITTER, YALL KNOW ME.

THATS WHY I AM IN DUBAI BECAUSE HERE THEY RECOGNIZE GREATNESS AND GIVE YOU FOOTRUBS WITH GRAPES. I AM AN ARTIST I WILL FOREVER BE GREAT!!!

galaxymilkyway
2009-06-01 09:05 pm UTC (link)

kanye? is that you? srsly? LOL!!!!

just_becca
2009-06-01 09:21 pm UTC (link)

i lol'd irl and i mean that

idealistically
2009-06-01 10:23 pm UTC (link)

I truly lmao'd irl.

x_ap0488x
2009-06-01 10:38 pm UTC (link)

LMFAO. i love you.

Thanks to LJ user deathcabparami for sending this in!

Freudian slip, much?

2009-05-27T09:35:00.000-07:00

Original post is on the topic of the American Idol season finale, from last week, announcing Kris Allen as the winner of Season 8.

xoxgoodbye
2009-05-21 02:03 am UTC (link)

LOL MY MOM WAS CREAMING.

	xoxgoodbye 2009-05-21 02:04 am UTC (link)
	*SCREAMING lol

lieeskiets
2009-05-21 02:43 am UTC (link)

good god i'm so glad you cleared that up LOL

guccipostagurl
2009-05-21 02:07 am UTC (link)

lmaooo

mattchew03
2009-05-21 02:10 am UTC (link)

LOL IRL

pandersoneel
2009-05-21 02:11 am UTC (link)

LOL. Best Freudian ever.

peopleareshapes
2009-05-21 02:16 am UTC (link)

ROTF

Thanks to Elizabeth Joan for sending this in.

more Nikki Blonsky lolz

2009-05-22T12:27:00.001-07:00

Thanks to the anonymous person who let me know about this particular comment in the Nikki Blonsky picture post.

androganus
2009-05-09 08:29 pm UTC (link)

I'm imagining her skinny jeans on the hanger and its cracking me up. They probably look like a slice of pizza.

konvict_gaga
2009-05-09 08:33 pm UTC (link)

LOL IRL

lindshaaa
2009-05-09 08:49 pm UTC (link)

HAHAHAHAAH IRL

getoutofmyhair
2009-05-09 09:04 pm UTC (link)

LOLOLOL

ughhstatusquo
2009-05-10 01:10 am UTC (link)

ROFL FOREVER

HDU NASA

2009-05-22T11:18:00.000-07:00

Original post reports the following: NASA announced Tuesday that it won't name a room in the international space station after Stephen Colbert. Instead, it has named a treadmill after him.

NASA earlier held an online contest to name a room (or "node") at the international space station. With write-in votes, the name "Colbert" beat out NASA's four suggested options: Serenity, Legacy, Earthrise and Venture.

On Tuesday's "The Colbert Report" on Comedy Central, astronaut Sunita Williams announced that NASA — which always maintained it had the right to choose an appropriate name — would not name the node after Colbert.

Instead, Node 3 will henceforth be called Tranquility, the eighth most popular response submitted by respondents in the poll.

gingerslam2
2009-04-15 02:48 am UTC (link)

HEY NASA IN NUMEROLOGY EIGHT IS THE NUMBER OF YOU'RE A FUCKING PUSSY

lumaria
2009-04-15 02:49 am UTC (link)

LMAO

cassandrathevil
2009-04-15 02:50 am UTC (link)

lmfao

ninestoriesonme
2009-04-15 03:02 am UTC (link)

WIN.

tin_o_biscuits
2009-04-15 02:49 am UTC (link)

NASA

Not
Appreciative of
Stephen Colbert's
Awesomeness.

fancifull
2009-04-15 02:50 am UTC (link)

I APPROVE OF THIS COMMENT.

soundofthe
2009-04-15 02:52 am UTC (link)

This is officially their new name.

screw_jack
2009-04-15 03:25 am UTC (link)

A+

Thanks to Alicia M. for sending these in.

tell us how you really feel!

2009-05-22T11:06:00.000-07:00

Original post has photos of Nikki Blonsky at various recent events.

thatchelseagirl
2009-05-09 07:45 pm UTC (link)

what size is she?

jughoood
2009-05-09 07:46 pm UTC (link)

fatass

shopaholics
2009-05-09 07:52 pm UTC (link)

roflmao

sinfulroad
2009-05-09 07:58 pm UTC (link)

LOL!

konvict_gaga
2009-05-09 07:59 pm UTC (link)

rofl

arrivetoolate
2009-05-09 08:00 pm UTC (link)

Fuck, I spit water everywhere.

Thanks to Sarah for sending this in!

fyi...

2009-05-18T15:57:00.000-07:00

I apologize for the delay in updating the blog-- I was out of town this past weekend, and then I came down with strep throat yesterday and am in a massive amount of pain. :[

We will get back to your regularly scheduled blog updating in the next few days.

Thank you for understanding!

it's funny because it's true

2009-05-13T09:27:00.001-07:00

Original post showcases the top 3 performances on American Idol last night, from Adam Lambert, Kris Allen, and Danny Gokey.

horrorparties
2009-05-13 03:40 am UTC (link)

CAN WE TALK ABOUT KRIS' GLITTERY TOP??

daydreamrachey
2009-05-13 03:41 am UTC (link)

SURE, LET'S TALK ABOUT ADAM

technocolours
2009-05-13 03:42 am UTC (link)

OMG I am dying. A++

wakingempty
2009-05-13 03:42 am UTC (link)

hahahahahhahah i am LMAO so hard at your comments tonight

horrorparties
2009-05-13 03:43 am UTC (link)

ROFL

Thanks to LJ user cherry222 for sending this gem in!

the things we do for ONTD! ;)

2009-05-12T14:06:00.000-07:00

Original post says that Rihanna allegedly escaped to Hawaii after the nude photos of her were leaked last week.

gingerslam2
2009-05-10 11:53 pm UTC (link)

does she know everyone in Hawaii has seen her boobs, too?

emerald_lights
2009-05-10 11:55 pm UTC (link)

Nah, we don't have internet over here.

jouetdedestin
2009-05-11 12:12 am UTC (link)

Did you make this comment through a coconut?

emerald_lights
2009-05-11 12:29 am UTC (link)

Yes. The keyboard is made out of shells and glued with lava. I lost a couple fingers, but it's allll worth it for ONTD.

jouetdedestin
2009-05-11 01:26 am UTC (link)

The professor from Gilligan's Island ain't got shit on you!

(Reply to this) (Parent)

hiisunshineee
2009-05-11 01:26 am UTC (link)

lmao

pinkheadxo
2009-05-11 01:27 am UTC (link)

lmao!

Thanks to Jackie for sending this in.

100 posts!

2009-05-12T14:00:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone,
Just a little side note-- the last post was post #100! Yeah!

Thanks to everyone who reads and sends in submissions. I appreciate the support, and I'm so glad that you guys enjoy the site! I hope you keep reading & following. Please let me know if you have any suggestions at all for the blog.

Here's to the next 100 posts!

Peace,
Tiffany

P.S. Feel free to follow me on Twitter-- I always Tweet when I update this blog. =) http://www.twitter.com/venusflesh

mindfuck #2

2009-05-07T09:19:00.000-07:00

Original post shows celebrity arrivals at the Grey Gardens premiere on April 14th.

This particular picture of Stanley Tucci and 's comment are A+ mindfuck.

rubberplimpy
2009-04-15 02:09 am UTC (link)

oh man that last picture was a mindfuck. i thought there was some dude about to blow him

missiwanderlust
2009-04-15 02:13 am UTC (link)

my god me too i was wtf

stevie_moore
2009-04-15 02:23 am UTC (link)

LMAO LMAO LMAO ILU BB!!

demented_21
2009-04-15 03:05 am UTC (link)

lmao now I can't not see it

mari_lyn00
2009-04-15 07:58 am UTC (link)

LOL

Thanks to Delisa for sending this in!

ONTD fat vs. thin - round 546

2009-05-07T08:53:00.000-07:00

Once again, the original post is an article informing readers that Kim Kardashian is going to have a plus-sized dress line featured in Forever 21 stores.

amelia_heinle
2009-04-20 11:52 pm UTC (link)

the one good thing about wearing F21 was that at least the fat girls weren't wearing the same clothes as you.

yeahtucker
2009-04-20 11:55 pm UTC (link)

lol that's such a bitchy comment but I'm laughing my ass off

unluxxxe
2009-04-20 11:55 pm UTC (link)

HAHAHAHA omg

prettysighs
2009-04-20 11:59 pm UTC (link)

LOL THIS COMMENT I LOVE IT

breatheonit
2009-04-21 12:08 am UTC (link)

And at least people knew at first glance you were cheap.

hoodiefan
2009-04-21 12:38 am UTC (link)

lmao

come again?

2009-05-07T08:29:00.000-07:00

Original post is about Susan Boyle, the "47" year old contestant from Britain's Got Talent. On the TV show, she stated that she had never been kissed, but as it turns out, it was really just a joke by the "hairy angel," as she's been nicknamed. (I'm not even going to touch that one.)

hussel
2009-04-23 01:50 am UTC (link)

I miss the days where I actually thought I was going to never be kissed. It was such angsty fun.

___chemicalxx
2009-04-23 01:53 am UTC (link)

ahahahaa me too! I was 13 and all my friends had kissed already. I was like WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?! WHY AM I SUCH A MONSTROCITY?! Well when I got to high school, I had to beat guys off with a stick.

jughoood
2009-04-23 01:56 am UTC (link)

when i got to high school i just beat guys off with my hand *drum clap*

hussel
2009-04-23 01:57 am UTC (link)

GOOD ONE

daydreamx3
2009-04-23 01:59 am UTC (link)

lmao

pin_stripe
2009-04-23 02:06 am UTC (link)

LOL irl

Thanks to Lynsey A. for the submission.

stereotypes exist for a reason, y/n?

2009-05-06T08:26:00.000-07:00

In the original post, it's reported that "Oprah is giving away free KFC, y'all!"

Apparently Oprah is giving away a FREE MEAL to anyone who downloads the coupon through tomorrow night. Meal includes 2 pieces of the new "HEALTHY" Kentucky GRILLED Chicken, 2 sides and a biscuit.

curiouslinh
2009-05-06 05:08 am UTC (link)

As a Black person I am appalled and disgusted. Also, I have already printed out 4 coupons

shopaholics
2009-05-06 05:09 am UTC (link)

rofl

patback409
2009-05-06 05:10 am UTC (link)

lol irl

miss_gulch
2009-05-06 05:12 am UTC (link)

lmao irl

urizanegao
2009-05-06 06:11 am UTC (link)

Best comment in the whole post.

Thanks to Daryl L. for sending this in.

she's a MAN, baby

2009-05-01T10:22:00.000-07:00

Original post is from March and shows the cover of Ciara and Justin Timberlake's "Love Sex Magic" single.

mrskulash
2009-03-10 07:06 pm UTC (link)

hot picture. i wonder if her dick is in his vagina

_urbanista
2009-03-10 07:12 pm UTC (link)

lmaooo.

azalea_breeze
2009-03-10 07:27 pm UTC (link)

rofl

even though i like jt

problemgurl
2009-03-10 07:36 pm UTC (link)

haha, I'm loling at work in my cubicle.

Thanks to 60sbeat for sending this in.

an overdue Rhianna/Chris Brown post

2009-05-01T10:15:00.000-07:00

Original post is from March, and it states the following:

TMZ knows who triggered the fight that left Rihanna battered and bruised and Chris Brown an accused felon -- it's Brown's manager.

Sources tell us the woman who left the three-page text message on Brown's cell phone is Tina Davis. Davis -- who turns 40 this month -- was rumored to have had a relationship with Brown when he was 16. Brown and Davis denied it.

Law enforcement tells us the text message to Brown talked about hooking up later -- and it totally pissed off Rihanna. She slapped and hit him and he then brutally fired back.

zigazazu
2009-03-10 04:27 pm UTC (link)

i want details on what the message said.

must_go_faster
2009-03-10 04:37 pm UTC (link)

"wut wut, in teh butt? y/n"

wegoturdog
2009-03-10 04:44 pm UTC (link)

YESSSS!

Gold star for you, bb.

zwei
2009-03-10 04:50 pm UTC (link)

Would lol again.

brokenclndstn
2009-03-10 05:51 pm UTC (link)

fucking LOL

itsmimibitch
2009-03-10 08:05 pm UTC (link)

omg LOL you ruined my mascara

Thanks to Jennifer C. for sending this in!

just one of the questions that this post brings up

2009-04-30T09:32:00.000-07:00

Original post is titled, "How Many African Kids Could Celebrity Engagement Rings Feed?" It goes on to say that Nicole Richie's ring is worth $10,000 and therefore could feed 500 African children, Kate Hudson's could feed 12,000, Mariah Carey's could feed 50,000, and Beyonce's could feed 100,000 starving African kids, among others.

hello_samm
2009-04-28 08:37 pm UTC (link)

Damn Africa what happened?

nature
2009-04-28 08:40 pm UTC (link)

LOL OMG

de_wood
2009-04-28 08:43 pm UTC (link)

ikr It really needs to get itself together.

opusdeihohoho
2009-04-28 08:48 pm UTC (link)

LMAO FOREVER

Thanks to Amber for sending this one in!

here lies one of ONTD's Lohan stans

2009-04-27T11:33:00.000-07:00

Original post states that Lindsay Lohan, after her break-up with Sam Ronson, allegedly appears to be going back to men.

college
2009-04-19 04:34 am UTC (link)

I LOVE YOU LINDSAY, YOU FUCKING ROCK. YOU ARE GOING TO MAKE YOUR COMEBACK AND IF YOU DON'T I WILL DIE TBH.
TEAM LOHAN.

grammaire
2009-04-19 04:37 am UTC (link)

RIP college :'(

tearstreaked
2009-04-19 04:39 am UTC (link)

LOL

shopaholics
2009-04-19 04:44 am UTC (link)

LMAO

patback409
2009-04-19 04:48 am UTC (link)

A+

Thanks to Vi for the submission.

dazzle dazzle

2009-04-26T21:48:00.000-07:00

Original post has an article about Emma Watson of Harry Potter fame and her Prince William look-alike boyfriend. The post includes various photos of the HP cast.

evilfuckinbitch
2009-04-21 11:26 am UTC (link)

this is the coat of a killer, bella.

valentinabp
2009-04-21 11:40 am UTC (link)

rofl

leabea88
2009-04-21 11:41 am UTC (link)

LMFAO

watermeloncholy
2009-04-21 11:49 am UTC (link)

LOL

Thanks to Victoria I. for sending this in.

"that was way harsh, Tai"

2009-04-23T11:13:00.000-07:00

Original post shows pictures of Heidi Klum out with her children.

showmorepink's comment to rara_imura is harsh, but funny, ngl.

rara_imura
2009-04-16 02:10 pm UTC (link)

OMG I looked almost exactly like her when I was a toddler! My nose and eye color are the only differences.

I wish I had a scanner right now!

showmorepink
2009-04-16 02:15 pm UTC (link)

aww don't worry, we don't care anyway.

u_are_so_funny
2009-04-16 02:32 pm UTC (link)

LMAO
RUDE!

rollthedice23
2009-04-16 02:44 pm UTC (link)

omg, hahaha!

avoryxo
2009-04-16 02:52 pm UTC (link)

lol irl

Thanks to Helen, aka bakachibigaki on LJ, for sending this in!

pwned!

2009-04-22T11:44:00.000-07:00

Original post features an article informing readers that Kim Kardashian is going to have a plus-sized dress line featured in Forever 21 stores.

jokers1cc
2009-04-21 12:56 am UTC (link)

I love how fat bitches refer to themselves as THICK... BWAHAHAHA BITCH YOUR FAT!!!!!

jackson
2009-04-21 01:10 am UTC (link)

I love how dumb bitches refer to you're as your.

tiddlywinks103
2009-04-21 01:11 am UTC (link)

LOL!

moneycashhoes
2009-04-21 01:15 am UTC (link)

WIN

misscrystal
2009-04-21 01:25 am UTC (link)

LMAO. Goddamn this made me laugh so hard.

Thanks to Shelby for sending this in!

FYI

2009-04-17T12:57:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone,
Just wanted to inform my readers that I'm on vacation right now, in Southern CA, which is why there's been a lack of updates for a few days. The blog will be updated when I get back (in another few days.) Hang tight! :)

Thanks for everyone's support & submissions! Keep 'em coming!

--Tiffany

and they aren't washed up pop stars, either

2009-04-14T14:07:00.000-07:00

Original post is a blog from Jessica Simpson:

Why do we let the sun SET with its beauty, then find ourselves ugly.

Didn't God, whoever he may be to you, create both? If a sunset is beautiful, then so are we.

Love yourself morning, noon, and night. Sunrise. Sunset.

Xo jess

spadul
2009-04-12 04:54 am UTC (link)

sunsets aren't fat.

i_do_the_jerk
2009-04-12 04:55 am UTC (link)

lmao

celtic_thistle
2009-04-12 05:23 am UTC (link)

LOL

yoyobrit
2009-04-12 11:26 am UTC (link)

WIN!

Thanks to Sarah for sending this in!

it's just a fact

2009-04-12T20:10:00.000-07:00

Original post reports that America's largest online retailer, Amazon.com, is no longer including gay and lesbian books in their sales rankings. This news has resulted in a lot of angry people, some of which can be seen in all the comments ONTD.

nene718
2009-04-13 01:32 am UTC (link)

The Internet made you, Amazon. It will now destroy you.

yasucchi
2009-04-13 01:33 am UTC (link)

dying irl

flyingdinosaur
2009-04-13 01:34 am UTC (link)

For serious.

detache
2009-04-13 01:35 am UTC (link)

lololol

Thanks to Alex D. for sending this one in.

pun intended

2009-04-12T20:04:00.000-07:00

Original post is an article stating that apparently, the Jolie-Pitt clan is planning to adopt another child.

LJ user aheadofyourself posts a comment, and nappyxheadedxho's response is perfect.

aheadofyourself
2009-04-13 01:51 am UTC (link)

I love the fact that they adopt.
I'm planning to as soon as I finish college/get my career started.

ecctv
2009-04-13 01:51 am UTC (link)

mm, maybe you should wait until you're established and stable

nappyxheadedxho
2009-04-13 01:59 am UTC (link)

You're a little bit aheadofyourself

infidelkast
2009-04-13 02:01 am UTC (link)

A+++

ellefleur
2009-04-13 02:02 am UTC (link)

lmao

askmehowifeel
2009-04-13 02:21 am UTC (link)

lol irl, this is seriously one of the best comments i've ever seen

Thanks to Leigh for sending this one in!

conversations with ourselves, part II

2009-04-10T12:38:00.000-07:00

Original post really doesn't have much to do with the amusing comments, but nonetheless, it announces that Christina Ricci is engaged.

coldvic (who's been featured here before) has a conversation... with himself, which provides amusement all around.

coldvic
2009-03-17 10:12 pm UTC (link)

I love this bitch. I was sitting next to her eating lunch at Toi on Sunset and she's like -- the size of my arm. That dude is probably 5'5 considering how short she was, lmao.

coldvic
2009-03-17 10:12 pm UTC (link)

Rude, he's 6'6".

coldvic
2009-03-17 10:12 pm UTC (link)

Rude, stop talking to yourself.

miss_gulch
2009-03-17 10:13 pm UTC (link)

lmao

nuravecunt
2009-03-17 10:14 pm UTC (link)

omg lol

beaddddddsss
2009-03-17 10:15 pm UTC (link)

LOL I like you.

cpb1220
2009-03-17 10:38 pm UTC (link)

hahaha omg i'm dying

Thanks to Delisa for sending this in.

obvious statement is obvious

2009-04-10T12:31:00.000-07:00

Original post has pictures of the Gwen Stefani/Gavin Rossdale family at the beach.

nousnous
2009-04-06 03:26 pm UTC (link)

i wish i were kingston.

i bet he gets a lot of free cute clothes.

zibbydoo324
2009-04-06 04:46 pm UTC (link)

He is like 3 and has parents.
All of his clothes are free.

aleronihead
2009-04-06 05:01 pm UTC (link)

lmfao

becomethelight
2009-04-06 05:28 pm UTC (link)

LMFAO so hard.

inviere
2009-04-06 05:39 pm UTC (link)

I cannot stop laughing.

Thanks to Melissa H. for sending this one in.

Come at me, bitch!

2009-04-08T12:42:00.000-07:00

Original post features a US Weekly cover of Lindsay Lohan, and parts of the article. The entire post is full of lolz.

"I'm not a bad person and this is what happens," Lohan told Us through tears. "I was raised to treat people well, and I'm so tired of this drama."

Lohan says she's "so alone" without Ronson.

"Everyone's turned on me," says the actress. She tells the magazine that the night of the Chateau showdown, Nicole Richie walked by her and said "Uck," and Drea DeMatteo said, "Come at me, bitch."

Commentary by the OP that personally made me LOL: "I think Drea's a lesbian so she probably said "CUM AT ME BITCH!" but Lindsay misunderstood surprisingly."

diosabellissima
2009-04-08 02:13 am UTC (link)

Why would she give an interview like that? She sounds like a 15 year old girl writing about her break up on her MySpace status:

~~~~Lindsay~~~~ is iN @bs0lut3 H3LLL!!!111!!!! Mood: In Hell

distortedinpink
2009-04-08 02:14 am UTC (link)

lololol

cherrule
2009-04-08 02:17 am UTC (link)

LMAO

isthisasgoodas
2009-04-08 02:19 am UTC (link)

lol! mood: in hell. can't stop laughing
---

peela
2009-04-08 02:26 am UTC (link)

The UCK face y/y?

cherrule
2009-04-08 02:27 am UTC (link)

lmfao omg ur killing me

pinknblack06
2009-04-08 02:28 am UTC (link)

i'm lol'ing so hard rn. ideky.

sinfulroad
2009-04-08 02:29 am UTC (link)

LOL, OMG
---

grammaire
2009-04-08 02:32 am UTC (link)

COME AT ME, BITCH.

diamondpussy
2009-04-08 02:33 am UTC (link)

HAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA LOL FOREVER

spunkstar
2009-04-08 03:19 am UTC (link)

brb loling forever
---

whatsgood
2009-04-08 02:40 am UTC (link)

it's really creepy how some people on ontd get joy out of
other peoples pain. just sayin'

ang_0
2009-04-08 02:44 am UTC (link)

come at me, bitch

mindofthebeheld
2009-04-08 02:45 am UTC (link)

LOL A+

This post is a riot.

laurie_springs
2009-04-08 02:53 am UTC (link)

LMFAO

<3

serious or not-- either way, it's amusing

2009-04-07T08:58:00.000-07:00

Original post: Lindsay Lohan has accused Samantha Ronson of cheating on her and taking drugs. The "Mean Girls" actress - who has had a turbulent relationship with the DJ for around a year - has reportedly split from Samantha, and has revealed intimate details of their failed romance on her blog.

Writing on social networking website Twitter, Lindsay said: "I was right all along. Cheat"

The resident ONTD Lohan stan comments to the post with just a BIT of vehemence.

ms_firecrotch
2009-04-06 05:23 pm UTC (link)

THIS IS DISGUSTING, THAT'S HER PERSONAL TWITTER AND YOU'RE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF IT AND AIRING HER PRIVATE TWEETS, HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF EVERYONE KNEW EVERY DETAIL ABOUT YOUR PERSONAL LIFE AND RELATIONSHIP? ALL COUPLES FIGHT, THIS IS HER BUSINESS. I AM DISGUSTED THAT SUCH A POST WOULD BE APPROVED ON THIS SITE. WHAT HAPPENED TO PRIVACY?

watermeloncholy
2009-04-06 05:27 pm UTC (link)

ngl "AIRING HER PRIVATE TWEETS" made me lmao irl.

azalea_breeze
2009-04-06 05:35 pm UTC (link)

grammaire
2009-04-06 05:37 pm UTC (link)

I think you've officially lost it :o

greatloyalty
2009-04-06 06:04 pm UTC (link)

OMG LMAO IRL

fun games to play with the disabled

2009-04-06T14:40:00.001-07:00

Original post is a "Who Went Home on Idol?" post. The commenter refers to Scott, who is the blind contestant on American Idol.

lingail140
2009-03-27 01:11 am UTC (link)

you know when it's the top 7 they make two groups of 3 and then make the left over person choose which group is safe? i sort of wish Scott makes it that far just to they can make him be the one to choose between the two groups.

petit_tresor
2009-03-27 01:12 am UTC (link)

omg lol

sashanaa
2009-03-27 01:14 am UTC (link)

omg I lol'd so hard at this. awww lmaoo.

holleratalex
2009-03-27 01:14 am UTC (link)

LOLOLOMGNO

Thanks to daydreamrachey for sending this in!

and throw hair shearers at Britney Spears, etc.

2009-04-06T14:34:00.000-07:00

Original post shows Zac Efron getting Q-tips thrown at him, most likely because of a photo took of him that showed quite a build up of earwax in his ear.

charizmatic
2009-03-30 12:39 am UTC (link)

they should throw nude people at vanessa

ctotheatherine
2009-03-30 12:49 am UTC (link)

lmao

kill_the_lights
2009-03-30 01:20 am UTC (link)

lmao!!

revenantrose
2009-03-30 03:10 am UTC (link)

LMAO @ that image